The Evil Slug

The following proclaimation was posted today outside the Herzog Wolfenbuttel’s palace:

“It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of foriegn snails used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is eating snails. If possible this must be prevented. My people must drink beer. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were his officers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer; and the King does not believe that snail-eating soldiers can be depended upon to endure hardships or to beat his enemies in case of … another war.”

Two hours later, soldiers of the newly raised Freibattalion Wolfenbuttel closed the stalls of all the snail mongers in the capital, confiscating their goods. The officer in charge directed that the contraband slugs be removed to the Herzog’s kitchens where they could be properly destroyed along with a good supply of Champagne taken in the recent victory over the Cardinal Elector.

Advertisements